Introduction
'SEX'. It is one of the most taboo word in Nepal. Let's look around movies, relationships (infidelity, incest and cases of Pedophilia), crimes, pamphlets, music videos everything is silently SHOUTING to talk about sex. There are many aspects of our society that demands Sex Talks to happen. Sex is something that I believe needs to be talked about in our society as a necessity.
"Sex is a part of life, and it should be treated as such. It’s not a luxury; it’s a necessity for many people’s emotional and physical well-being."
Dr. Ruth Westheimer
Sexual Frustration increases aggression and violence. It impacts on Mental Health, Relationships and also contributes to criminal behaviour (open sex talks can contribute in even reducing rapes too). So, Let's Talk About Sex. And explore what makes Open Sex Talks necessary and how it can be implemented. For which I have been supported by YUWA through Bipana Shrestha (SRHR PROGRAM COORDINATOR) and the following content are her responses.
Shortcuts:
Sex Talk And It's Dimensions
What is Sex Talk?:
Sex Talk can be understood as an open and informative conversation about sex, sexuality, and sexual health, aimed at increasing awareness, reducing stigma, and empowering individuals especially young people to make informed decisions about their bodies and relationships. It includes discussions on topics like safe sex, contraception, consent, pleasure, and sexual rights.
Considerations:
Spaces for open sex talks must be inclusive and safe. Following things should be considered:
- People should not be forced to share their stories. They need to be given time to emotionally prepare themselves
- Maintaining confidentiality is the most important part. Personal disclosure might not be required.
- Respectful communication is the key. One must use preferred pronouns respecting their gender identity and sexual orientation. The discussion should welcome people from diverse backgrounds and sexuality. The idea that different experiences are valid and should be heard needs to be reinforced.
- Different methods could be used. If they feel comfortable they can verbally share but if not they could anonymously write or record or discuss one on one.
- We must use the intersectional lens that people’s different intersecting identities could bring them different privileges and oppression. It should be acknowledged that different cultures and religions have varied perspectives on sex.
Strategies:
Open sex discussions might bring a lot of sensitive questions and sharing. People might seek specific suggestions and advice. The moderator must normalize the situation first. It should also be understood that the moderator may not be a counsellor. They might not have answers for every question. In that case, they need to clearly explain that they might not be the right person for specific questions and provide the participants with referrals. For example, If the question suggests personal distress (e.g., abuse, coercion, unintended pregnancy) their feelings should be acknowledged and they should be referred to appropriate help. They can also follow up to the question later after doing a proper research. The moderator must provide factual, unbiased, and non-stigmatizing answers.
Accessibility And Inclusiveness:
Use of inclusive language helps in promoting respect and trust among people. Gender neutral pronouns can be used during the facilitation to prevent gender assumptions. Also hetero- normativity must be avoided as when we talk about relationships, its not always between a man and woman only.
We must create a welcoming environment for people living with disabilities as our society mostly tends to ignore them. It is strange for people to believe that People with disability could also have sexual desires. Open sex discussions among them should be normalized.
Different ways to engage must be reinforced such as social media, forums, focus group discussion, interview etc. There must be accessibility support for example sign language interpreters in videos and programs can help people with hearing disability feel involved in the discussions.
Addressing Common Barriers:
There are barriers to open sex talks such as cultural and religious values. Some religions do not accept people talking about sex especially women talking about sex is a matter of shame. Also people are restricted to use contraceptives too which has led to control of bodily choices and autonomy. Patriarchal norms often control decisions of women leading to unhealthy and disrespectful relationships. Open sex talks have never been normalized and people often have fear of judgement and embarrassment if they do so. These barriers could be addressed by integrating the benefits of sex talks in the national curriculum. Collaborative efforts and advocacy should be done to challenge the harmful patriarchal norms and to prioritize sexual health. Various campaigns and workshops should be conducted on open sex talks.
YUWA conducts a program called “Khulla Aakash” where people openly discuss their opinions, knowledge and experiences without the fear of being judged on different stigmatized topics. The program emphasizes on giving a safe space to share whatever they want to. These kinds of programs can help in normalizing sex talks.
Parent's/Guardian’s Role In Creating A Safe Environment For Sex Talks:
Parents are the ones whom people trust the most and seek guidance. They should understand that. Starting conversations early and gradually ensures children build sexual literacy over time. Parents could discuss pubertal changes and healthy relationships. They could share their personal values framing discussions around respect, empathy, and mutual consent.
They could discuss sexual desires and safe sexual practices. They can also discuss the good touch and bad touch empowering their children to identify sexual violence. When they provide open, honest, and judgment-free communication, children and teens are more likely to make informed and responsible choices. Parents could encourage open dialogues with their children on sexual and reproductive health.
Misconceptions Sex Talk Will Dispel:
Some misconceptions are:
- Talking about sex is shameful.
- Premarital sexual intercourse is a sin
- Sex has nothing to do with pleasure of women
- Sex should only be the act of procreation, that is it is only for reproduction.
- Women orgasm is a myth.
- Talking About Sex Encourages Young People to Have It.
- Only Men Have a High Sex Drive
- If a man could not satisfy sexually, he is not Man enough.
- There is only penetrative sex.
Resources To Learn More From:
In Nepal, organizations like YUWA, Visible impact, YoSHAN, Ipas Nepal, Siso Nepal, Yuwalaya, SoCHAI, Blue diamond society and Blind Youth Association Nepal have been working on normalizing sex talks. A coalition “Right here Right Now Nepal” has been engaged in enabling young people to make their informed choice regarding their sexual and reproductive health and rights.
There are different resources such as e-learning courses, CSE booklets, SRHR policy analysis available in the YUWA: yuwa.org.np and RHRN website: rhrnnepal.org .
Internationally, there are organizations such as Planned Parenthood, CHOICE for youth sexuality, ARROW and Rutgers working on young people's sexual health.
Some Already Running Programs are:- 1. Khulla Aakash program by YUWA
- 2. "Love Matters" Digital Platform in India : It engages youth through digital conversations, chatbots, and interactive videos on topics ranging from pleasure to consent.
Benefits
Sex Talk For Community:
Open sex and relationship conversations leads to open discussions about contraceptives and its importance in reducing unplanned and unintended pregnancies. It has opened the pathway for people to talk about consent and boundaries. After the controversy of a celebrity regarding sex with minors, people have started talking about age of consent.
Young people have been curious about sexual orientation and its types. They have started normalizing homosexual relationships.
Open discussion has increased awareness about the available sexual and reproductive health services increasing the help seeking behaviors.
It has also highlighted the importance of comprehensive sexuality education in the national curriculum. Advocacy efforts influencing legal reforms that promote gender equality, reproductive rights, and access to sexual health education in schools have increased.
Sex Talks For Youth:
Open sex education empowers young people to make informed decisions by equipping them with knowledge, critical thinking, and skills to navigate their bodies and relationships. It dismantles taboos and misinformation by teaching anatomy, sexual health, and consent, ensuring adolescents understand bodily autonomy and reject coercion. Discussions about gender norms, power dynamics, and legal rights (e.g., laws against sexual violence) help them critique harmful stereotypes and advocate for equitable relationships. For example, lessons on mutual consent and contraceptive options promote shared decision-making, challenging patriarchal norms that often place men in control of reproductive choices. By addressing cultural values and media literacy, education also fosters critical evaluation of societal pressures, enabling teens to distinguish healthy practices from harmful ones.
This empowerment extends to advocacy and safety: informed youth are more likely to seek reproductive healthcare, report abuse, or challenge violence. Open dialogue builds confidence to reject harmful traditions (e.g., stigma around premarital sex) and prioritize well-being. For instance, role-playing scenarios or peer-led discussions teach teens to negotiate boundaries, access services like STI testing, or navigate crises like unintended pregnancy. By integrating legal awareness and cultural critique, comprehensive sexuality education ensures decisions are grounded in self-respect, safety, and a commitment to equity. Ultimately, it transforms young people into agents of change, capable of fostering healthier relationships and communities.
Sex Talk To Prevent STIs:
Open communication about sex helps in understanding the importance of condoms, safe sexual practices and preventive measures from STIs. People are more likely to get regular STI screenings without fear or shame. Early detection helps with timely treatment. They will know about the available services and STI clinics. In communities where sex is taboo, fear of judgment prevents people from seeking medical help. By normalizing conversations, people feel safe discussing symptoms, asking questions, and seeking treatment without embarrassment.
Sex Talk To Avoid Unexpected Pregnancies:
Talking about sex automatically involves talking about pregnancies. Young people having the fear of unintended pregnancies look for contraceptive options. Open communication ensures individuals understand contraceptive options and safe practices, reducing reliance on misinformation or risky behaviors. They start feeling comfortable about discussing their pleasure and about the risk of pregnancies. Open communication builds trust, enabling partners to negotiate safer practices (e.g., consistent condom use) and address power imbalances that may lead to unprotected sex.
Sex Talks For Better Relationships:
Open discussion helps partners talk about their choices, their feelings and opinions related to sexual practices. It clarifies that consent is an important aspect and is ongoing, enthusiastic and mutual. It emphasized on sharing personal boundaries which helps in preventing non consensual sexual acts . Families and partners who discuss sex openly model healthy communication, encouraging active listening and empathy. This strengthens emotional intelligence and mutual respect, reducing misunderstandings that can escalate into violence. In an environment where people could talk about their vulnerabilities such as their personal fantasies or fears or boundaries easily, they tend to be more empowered on raising their voice against sexual violence. It also promotes healthy and respectful relationships.
Sexual violence often stems from gendered power dynamics and societal entitlement to others’ bodies. Open discussions about consent, empathy, and mutual decision-making help dismantle these norms, particularly by teaching people to prioritize partners’ well-being over personal desires. It empowers women to advocate for their needs by discussing topics like sexual health and autonomy and they also gain confidence to reject harmful practices such as marital rape.
Sex Talks For Gender Equality:
Talking about sex itself is a taboo in the society especially in Nepal. Premarital sexual intercourse or premarital relationship and often not a topic of discussion. Stereotypes such as men being aggressive and sexually active and women being passive and being far away from sex discussions are still prevalent in the society. Decisions in a relationship often depict the power dynamics being sustained by the patriarchal norms as most of the decisions especially regarding the use of contraceptives are taken by a man. Open sex talks encourage women to express desires and boundaries counters stereotypes that frame them as passive or averse to sex. It also challenges the notion that men must be “aggressive” or dominant in relationships and promotes emotional expression and shared responsibility. It helps in understanding the choice of partners and promotes healthy communication and respecting boundaries.
References
bipana@yuwanepal.org
Bipana Shrestha is a dedicated public health professional specializing in Sexual and Reproductive Health and Rights (SRHR). As the SRHR Program Coordinator at YUWA, she is committed to empowering young individuals to make informed decisions about their SRHR and well-being. With over four years of experience in advocacy and program coordination, Bipana actively works to create an enabling environment for youth by promoting access to Comprehensive Sexuality Education, services, and policies. Her passion lies in promoting meaningful youth engagement, ensuring their voices are heard in decision-making spaces, and driving positive change.