Bratabandha Through My Eyes: A Cultural Rite of Passage

Introduction

Being born in hindu community and getting grown by a hindu parent in Nepal. I feel I didn't have a option for my religious choice, as a young boy choosing a new religion can easily be seen as an action of innocence too. With over hundreds of religions and cults in the world I am exposed closely to Hinduism only because Nepal has Hinduism as the most followed religion where we have implemented secularism only in our latest constitution of 2015 A.D (2072 B.S).

I believe Hinduism is a beautiful religion whose base is to teach morals such as honesty, love, truth, and brotherhood in people. Being the oldest religion it’s practices and people’s views towards it have changed although its core value is for non-violence, love and compassion remains as any other religion. Hinduism is a rich religion with thousands of myths and legends which rarely bores me. But in the world where things that don’t change fades away. In which for Hinduism it has to lose its irrelevant practices and its use for violence. For me a person who lives in harmony, brotherhood and love and fulfils his duties is a hindu even if he/she didn’t perform religious practices.

I feel many practices in Hinduism are based on old beliefs and livelihoods where it doesn't make much sense for me at present. Bhagwat gita had said that god resides in every particle and everywhere. We are all his children and God will never judge us based on our deeds for them. God stays with the people who are true and supports truth. Today I will share about the religious hindu practice named Bratabandha performed by me.

Background

I have been told Bratabandha is a must for a hindu as it symbolises me being a man from a child. It grants me permission to be involved in religious activities and practices and also for getting married too. A series of regular phone calls from my ghutti jimma (my nickname for grandmother) and shared concern of my mother have been asking and discussing with me to convince me to perform Bratabandha. Although I didn’t like it and wanted to avoid it, my mother is hard to convince.

Preparation and Day 1

I had to agree and woo! There we were packing and planning for it. Me who was suffering from fever and common who then with my mom on shree airlines to Dhangadhi airport from where we reach my mamaghar( maternal uncle’s home) by road, where next day as my Cinha (a long Nepali paper consists of my life’s story made by considering birthdate and planets position) had some faults we had to perform a extra pooja of Graha Shanti. I had to take a bath and had to eat nothing the whole day with just one meal. Sitting in the same posture all day was really hard. I don’t know exactly how but I didn't feel as if I was suffering as being with my family members after a long time was therapy for me.

Day 1 Glimpse

Day 2 ( Bratabandha starts)

And also day 2 begins with bathing and a day long puja where again sitting all day is hard! Where then bratabandha’s pooja had started and ended with a cloth over my head and cloth banded on my wrist. That was a remarkable day as that day my relatives had joined me and stayed over with us celebrating by dancing and singing, consisting of deuda(traditional dance of my committee) but I had to sleep soon,as there was tomorrow with an early wake up for pooja and end of Bratabandha.

Day 2 Glimpse

Day 3 Ending

Day 3 starts with early bathing where we had an auspicious time to catch up so we sat for puja and after a few chants it was time for me to get bald with small hair for tuppi. Cutted by my two mamas(maternal uncles). I dressed as a monk and started asking for vikshya (practice of monk asking for food ) from my family members and paid the debt of my mom, teachers and workers and pretended to go from house to seek knowledge and was brought back by my maternal uncle and aunties. I had to wear janai(a sacred thread) and perform puja before eating and in the evening for the rest of my life. But let’s see how much I will do it. And then after a few more chants it ends with many relatives attending and meeting me.

Mundan (hair cutting)

Asking for Vikshya

Janai Wearing

Glimpse After Pooja

Picture while returning

Stances

For me I myself didn’t even agree with it. I feel like I wanted the space for analysing religions and thinking freely but parent’s regular discussion left me no choice. I believe bratabandha pooja also had patriarchal stories and methods. I was happy as it consists of my loved ones but use of so many resources is just a waste for me. Helping is the greatest deed and a person who lives without harming others intentionally is a human that not the religion, but the world requires.