Introduction
The capital Kathmandu was and still is the most active and open place in Nepal. It has held the only international airport for a long time in the past. A nation with over 120 languages, hundreds of festivals and so many different communities yet living together without any disputes or any extremist attitude among themselves (or to say terrorist as per my last blog). Only infrastructural development without any awareness to people or lack of mindful development has hampered and is hampering the lives of people.
Talking about our society there are conflicts in households among youngsters which aren't caused by teenage dilemmas but due to generational gap and generational trauma. My own ancestry to rural settings has given me an idea of how harmful the generation gap, beliefs and traditions can be for the development of children’s minds.
I have divided this article into
Observations
I believe conflicts are caused naturally during teenage years with parents but many conflicts are also caused by generation gap. Here are some common parental beliefs that are superficial/harmful for children:-
- Extreme Love and respect towards government jobs
- Degree focused
- Tabooing relationship between boy and girl
- Division of life
- Social anxiety
We have left village life, mud houses and letters for communicating but we carried bad beliefs and unfair societal stereotypes along this journey. Old societal taboos and beliefs are still passed and presented in our parents' generation. Like they still extremely respectful towards governmental jobs. No job is greater than others but as presented in old society due to bad governance and unethical use of power by public servants, people instead of growing out, people have been racing to use it for their interests.
A person with a degree is unemployed or works as a cleaner in the foreign land. Where that degree should make him aware enough to change the world. But sadly it is gained by memorizing. That isn't a degree of applied knowledge, it only shows that the individual can be tortured with regular classes and shaped as the employer wants. A degree was enough for then but not now everything you learn should be applicable. There should be 21st century skills learned and more diplomatic people should be out there.
The funny splitting of life in society for work till 40 and enjoy later by ignoring the uncertainty of life is a trait on its own. The possibility that a person can earn doing his passion should need to be understood and proved to our parents.
There is a story I have loved from Mahabharata where Arjun asked Krishna about why he is not the danveer (kind and the brave one) as karna is? The story holds the moral that generous is a man who gives when he doesn't have, not the one who gives when he has.
The tabooing of relationships between boy and girl is a common trait. I too agree that there may be consequences of the relationship between a girl and a boy but it isn’t due to friendship but due to lack of teaching. A person needs a person to share, to fight, to talk and to enjoy and a child only searches for it when he feels like his parents didn’t understand him.
Consequences
This generation gap and trauma have caused huge conflicts and fractured relationships.
This is the stanza I have noted from the Himalayan times.
Article by UNICEF states that:-
This is the cause of generational gap and generation trauma. No human being is superior to others and this thing should be noted. Society is shown by its children where traumatized children aren’t the ones that make a better country. We want human beings, not robots. Children questions and addressing their queries is super important. Children is the ones that requires the most nurture. Children who get anxious can choose bad influences due to pressure. They can develop an attitude of opposing everything said by the guardians and moreover can hate their parents. A child's mind is like a wet cement, whatever falls in it leaves a mark.
Guardians are hyping things that aren't true. Making their children to do the same as them. Instead of breaking the cycle of toxic parenting which requires effort and knowledge. No one is always strong, dependent or weak. Parents will grow old and what are the olds that the children who have suffered will be a good guardian during their parent’s old age.
What can be done?
Well I don’t know much. But solutions is surely not to leave kids unhelped or not worrying about them but lies in giving them the space they deserve. A parent try to know what children is meaning and should moreover question their beliefs too.
This article doesn't mean that children are perfect but this article says that a grown emotional intelligence and a contributing human is developed by love, care and destroying baseless stereotypes. Parents should know that school will not make their children complete. And they should be courageous to listen, question and make the schools accountable.
Takeaways
Rapid unequal development has given people accessories without developing the mind of people. A good parent isn't the one rich but the one with rich mindset. That is why I question parents doing jobs using 21st advanced technologies but with the mindset of god knows when! to change. Old beliefs and a new busy life cycle is causing guardian to lack time on their children’s growth.
Due to lack of teaching and awareness, a large generation gap and trauma is causing the loss of huge amount of possible innovative, loving and cooperating mindsets from children.